What can 25 cents do?
08/07/08
What can 25 cents do? Just the other day, I reached into my pocket and lo and behold there was a quarter in there. Don’t know where it came from and can’t recall where I could have gotten it. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at it which is something that I never do. It really made me start thinking. As I pulled it out and flipped it over, “Tennessee 1796” stood out to me. Why is this such a big deal? I have spent a lot of thought lately on home and going home.
Home is where the heart is. In December 2005 I moved out here to Northwest Arkansas. After about a year the new wore off and I was missing home. I thought maybe the problem was since I was getting married in March and wasn’t able to see Candace as much as I would like it was making me miss home more than I should have. Well we got married and things were good for another year and then the “missing home” hit me again. The problem is that there is nothing that I can figure is making me miss home like before with Candace. I guess the only thing now that is keeping me here is the economy and our financial position in this weakened economy.
Go explore the country. At least that is what thinking when I moved out here. To bad I had to find a job in Arkansas. Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t look in some other surrounding states. At least this part of the state is not anything like Southern and Eastern Arkansas. I wouldn’t be here if it was. I guess I should have at least went and interviewed for jobs across the country on everyone else’s dime. Oh well, that’s then and this is now.
We’re stuck. Well, we are for now anyway. With the way that the economy has acted over the last year or so I don’t believe that we are in a financial position to pack up and move back. My concern is that we won’t be able to sell the house. I guess as soon as my truck gets paid off and we get some cash stockpiled, we will make our move (pun fully intended). I do feel like we could help financially from our families should we want to move back before we are in a strong financial position, but I am just the person that doesn’t want to take or borrow any money from anyone. I even feel bad when Candace’s Dad gives a couple of bucks to each lunch on when we are on our way back home.
Opportunity knocks. Financial position good or not, I guess that if an opportunity comes up and lands on the door step, I will probably let it in. I wouldn’t have just a few weeks ago, but time marches on and wheels on the bus go round and round.
What could have been? This is a question that I try my best not to dwell on. Life today is what one has made. Just like Ron White says, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and then find someone with Vodka and have a party.” The past is merely a learning experience. You shouldn’t think or dwell about it; you should only use it for reference and reflection. It’s kind of like a dictionary. I mean why in the heck would you want to read it or study it? Its only good uses are for reference and reflection (reiteration)… maybe that’s why history was never my favorite subject in school.
Reluctance. Yes I have some even with what all you have read to this point. We recently had some layoffs here where I work and my boss asked me if I had any plans of moving back because that would make the layoffs easier if I was planning on going back and I told him that I didn’t. Which was entirely true, but all the pull from home has become much stronger very recently. I really like the place and the people that I work for. It is a small company and that is the atmosphere that I really enjoy in a workplace.
I miss my friends. Friends don’t just happen. You don’t make friends. Friends just show up on the doorstep of life and never leave. They may be much further away than you would like, but they’re always there. They are the ones that bring the Vodka and show up for the party.
There’s no life like small town life. I know it is so aggravating to try and run to Wal-Mart for one or two things and it takes and hour because you run into so many people that you know. I miss those trips to Wal-Mart. I have lived here for more than 2 ½ years and have only seen one person that I knew there. I will be glad to have a 2 minute Wal-Mart run take well over an hour.
It could be worse. There are some good things about the area. There is a tremendous amount of things to do. From walking up and down Dickson St. in Fayetteville, SEC football 30 minutes from the house, Beaver Lake, and Minor League Baseball. It just doesn’t matter how many activities you put somewhere, home will always be home. With all these great things to do, it just means that this is a good place to visit.
What type of letter is this? Is this a resignation letter, or a sort of diary, or is just a letter to my friends and family to say “Here I come ya’ll!”? I don’t know what it is. I guess it is just my thoughts on paper for now. If my feelings to go home don’t subside soon and God places an opportunity for me follow that path, I guess it will be all of these.
08/21/08
Cry me a river. Well that almost what I did when I re-read that last paragraph. Less than three weeks after that God placed me at a fork in the road of life. As of the time that I am typing this, I am leaning toward stepping to the side of the fork that leads to Milan if things proceed in the direction that they started this week.
Call of hope. It was for me. Paul and I had been playing phone tag all week after I received an e-mail that stated the he needed to talk business with me. I had a feeling what it was about but it wasn’t until last night that our phone lines got on the same page that I found out for sure. Paul didn’t seem to have much hope for me being interested in taking the job, but with the way that the path to Milan has been laid out this week, I think that this is something that I should pursue. He had no idea what I had gone through the last month or so.
She didn’t even know. I didn’t tell Candace about how was feeling about going back to Milan until I told her about the possible opportunity to go home. As of me typing this, she still doesn’t know the “real deal” sort of speak of how I really feel. I will let her read this tonight.
Second time a charm? If things proceed the way that they are pointing, the second time will be a charm. This is not the first time that Paul has come to me with the possibility of having a job at Allen & Hoshall with him (Something else that Candace didn’t know – I sure hope you’re not reading this at my funeral…). I just didn’t want her to get too excited and I didn’t want add any unneeded stress to either of us.
What me nervous? You bet. I keep telling myself to wait until I have to make a decision and talk to Mark and David if the opportunity comes. I just think that I am nervous now. It would probably be beneficial for me to get some “juice” before I was to tell them that I was pursuing other opportunities.
How do you do it? I mean how do you tell someone that you enjoy working for in a field that you enjoy being a part of that you quit? I mean if you hated your job or the people worked for, it would be easy. Just walk in, quit, and don’t let the door hit ya’ where the good Lord split ya’ on the way out.
Easy does it. I have always said that I would do everything that I could to make the transition for Tatum-Smith as easy as realistically possible when it comes my time to leave. My mind has not changed on that. If I proceed to go home, I would finish all the jobs that I was working on that TSE wanted me to. I also know that there is a risk that I would give my notice and be asked to leave right then. I guess that just means more vacation.
08/29/08
Upside down. The day that I have been waiting for has come. I wasn’t surprised that I got a job offer at all. I also believe that it is a very fair offer. What surprised me was how it hit me. I literally went and cried for a few minutes. This truly does turn me upside down.
This is it. I think that if I had been out actively searching for a job that I would be more hesitant about accepting it and moving back. With the way that things have just fallen out of the sky for me, I feel like the Lord has laid out a path for me to follow. That doesn’t mean that it is going to be any easier to tell Tatum-Smith that I am pursuing other opportunities; I just hope that I can get my wits together to let them know very quickly.
Didn’t tell her again. (I sure hope this paragraph doesn’t go over like a terd in the punch bowl with the Mrs.). When I was at David and Lisa’s last Saturday night, I had them read this (up to the 8/29 entry). I have been so worried about selling the house. That has been something that has been bothering me from the start. Well, sometimes it is good to have someone on the outside looking in ‘take a peak’. What David told me after he read this turned on a whole other light for me. He said “Don’t worry about selling your house. The one who put this opportunity in front of you will take care of the house for you, too.” That made me look at this whole thing differently. It may not sell a week after it goes on the market, but I do believe that there is a reason for everything.
Working class (pun fully intended). I know not everyone who will read this has met the people that I work for and with. I don’t think that I can explain it to the ones that don’t know them, and I don’t have to explain it to the ones that have met them. How many people have you worked for would travel 8 hours just to attend your wedding? I have spent the first 3 years of my career working for a company and employers that cannot be compared to anyplace that I have worked before. This place is a class act among the classiest of places. This is one workplace and one group of people that I will never forget.
Basement babies; and I am not talking about 6th grade at the old Milan Middle School. For this to be a reality, we will have to spend some tome in Candace’s parent’s basement so I feel like we should have their blessing. We will talk to them this weekend.
It’s so fast. Everything in the last couple of weeks has gone so fast. I guess that’s good. That means that our vacation is getting closer! I have been looking forward to that for a long time. Now that all of this has happened, it will be a good time to get everything off my mind and just relax a little. I need a break.
Time for home. I have enjoyed my tenure here in Northwest Arkansas unlike anything else in my life. I have had the enjoyment of the highest highs that have fulfilled me and disappointment of the lowest lows that have strengthened me, but now it is time to go home. It is where my heart has always been and will always be. I have learned so much since I left home after school, but the one lesson that has stood out is that home is home and home will always be home. I wouldn’t do anything any differently if I had a redo in life. I love it just the way it is.
09/04/08
It’s too hard. I keep getting cold feet. I know what the right decision is, but I just have a hard time doing it. I guess that since it is going to be difficult for me to tell Mark and David. That’s going to be the hardest thing that I do. Selling the house will be easy compared to that. If it was easy, they wouldn’t call it life.
It’s been great. Mr. Tatum and Mark. This has been a wonderful experience for me. I have enjoyed every minute of my time here at Tatum-Smith and I wouldn’t have changed anything. This is a wonderful place to work and I will miss it. It is time for me to go home. I have always had ups and downs about being here in Arkansas, just like I am sure that each of you have had in your time here. I do feel like you, David and Bette, saw just a glimpse of what Candace and I have left behind in Milan when you attended my wedding. We both miss it. It is very difficult to be as happy as possible when you are away from your friends and family.
Disappointment. I know it is a disappointment to put as much time and effort into training me and then have me leave. I feel bad for that. You have helped and encouraged me to learn and advance in my career. The latest “down” about being away from home has been so much worse than any other, and I feel has affected my quality of work.
09/08/08
Coincidental. I don’t know if that is a good word for it; fate may be more appropriate here. Things just keep happening. Candace came in with a quote Saturday evening, and it is so fitting to my situation because of the fact that telling my bosses that I am moving is going to be the hardest thing that I have to do. Here is the quote:
"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
-Unknown Author
And while I was looking for that one this morning, I ran across this one:
“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.”
-Elbert Hubbard
I also stumbled across this passage below by Ron Hutchcraft Ministries. It can also be found here: http://www.hutchcraft.com/A-Word-With-You/Your-Hindrances/When-it-Looks-Like-You-Should-Turn-Back-5417. I have always heard that God would provide his messages to you whenever you needed to hear them… He did. This is truly the passage that I needed to hear at this point. It puts the past couple of weeks in perspective.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Whenever you drive into Texas, these signs say, "Don't mess with Texas." One reason for that is the weather in Texas! Just watch the national weather on any given day from spring into the fall and you're likely to see the color red. That's for severe thunderstorms or possible tornadoes. Our son and daughter-in-law and granddaughter were driving across the Texas panhandle last spring, and sure enough, they drove into one of those really nasty weather fronts. Amarillo, Texas, was behind them, New Mexico was ahead of them. The sky was featuring that special shade of tornadic green. The rain was torrential and the clouds were growing those little fingers that sometimes turn into tornadoes. Our son decided it was time to call his brother and see what the Internet was saying about this weather. His question: "Shall I keep going or turn back to Amarillo?" The answer: "Just keep going, man. Twenty more miles and you'll be in bright sunshine!"I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A WORD WITH YOU today about "When it Looks Like You Should Turn Back."
It could be that your journey right now is taking you through a very dark and stormy time. There's danger, there's apprehension, there's questions about which way to go, and turning back or bailing out looks like it may be the way to go. But your Father in heaven can see the whole road, and today He's saying to you, "Just keep going. Drive a few more miles and you'll start to see the sunshine!"The danger is that you'll turn back just before the breakthrough; just before the answer to your prayers. There's a vivid, real-life example of what that looks like in our word for today from the Word of God in Matthew 14, beginning with verse 24. Jesus has sent His disciples on ahead of Him. They're crossing the unpredictable Sea of Galilee in a boat when suddenly their boat is being "buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it." "Buffeted by the waves." Does that sound like a fair description of how you feel right now?
The Bible goes on to tell us that "during the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw Him walking on the lake, they were terrified ... But Jesus immediately said to them: 'Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.' 'Lord, if it's You,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to You on the water.'
'Come,' He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, he cried out, 'Lord, save me!' Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' He said, 'why did you doubt?'"You started down the road you're on by faith, counting on Jesus to get you there. And, like Peter, the wind and the rain and the waves are brutal right now. So you've stopped focusing on Jesus and you started focusing on your fears or what you can do, and you're sinking. People criticize Peter for losing faith, but he's the only one who had enough faith to even get out of the boat, right? But, sadly, it was only "halfway there" faith; enough faith to get him halfway there.
It's not the storm that's going to sink you. It's going to be "halfway there" faith. If you decide what you're going to do based on the situation, based on what you can see, based on what you're feeling, you'll almost surely make a bad decision. It was Jesus who got you out of the boat in the first place. It was Jesus who helped you walk on water this far. And it will be Jesus who gets you the rest of the way there. So get your focus back on Jesus! His word is: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:9).
It's dark now. But don't doubt in the darkness what God told you in the light. He knows what you're going through, but He also knows what's ahead. And He's telling you, "Keep going! Before long, you'll be in the sunshine!"
The last couple of weeks have almost been surreal with the things that have been happening. I hope that they will continue.
This letter is also posted on my blog at http://zarecor.blogspot.com/. I encourage everyone to share this. My e-mail address is tootalldave@gmail.com. Drop me a message sometime.
Until next time…
